Asking yourself the question, “what do I want”, is terribly overwhelming. It encompasses what I call the three life wants; what you want to have, to do and to be. Before you go answering the big question, it’s best to break it down and identify what IT is that you want to have, do and be. Even that can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.
Some call it “passion”, some call it their “calling”, some call it a “vision” and some try to figure out what it is they’re “meant” to do. I call it finding your “important”.
What is your important?
Perhaps you already know what’s important to you. Your family, your job, your home. But it’s deeper than that. Your important gives you a personal and intimate focus, clarity, and direction.
So, how do find this important?
There a number of different exercises out there, some branded ‘find your passion’, but it’s not passion you’re looking for, it’s what is so important to you that you lose sleep, lose track of time, and forget to eat. It’s not the love of something, it’s the need to have, do and be something.
Here’s a great article, “Find Your Passion is Awful Advice”.
If you’re not sure what your important is, here’s one exercise to try:
Grab a pen and paper and list… list everything that’s important to you. Your family, your cat, your dog, your mind, your job, your big girl shoes! Take those answers and get more specific. Your family.. who? what about your family? what about your home? And do this for each initial important. Then… do the last step and go deeper. What about those things makes them important? Write down the WHY it’s on your list and important. Brainstorm… but when you get to the point where you feel a physical reaction, either tears well up behind your eyes or a sick feeling in your stomach – you’ve done it! That’s your “important”…
But don’t think you’re done, this is just the starting point. Now you can start from scratch and change your thinking to get what you want.